Top 5 Alternative Uses For a Mobile Phone

With all this talk of Smartphones, high definition cameras and touchscreen wizardry it’s easy to lose sight of the most fundamental reason why mobile phones have caught on in such magnificent fashion (because they make personal communication easier in case you were wondering). Whilst considering just how many different tasks and functions a cutting edge handset can perform we had a thought: can we come up with 5 alternative uses for ANY mobile phone – regardless of its features, age and condition? In some strange way it made sense that if it’s possible to demonstrate how mobile phones have served a purpose beyond their primary function since the early days, then we are permitted to revel in the more frivolous abilities of modern handsets. Here’s what we came up with:

1- A Tool to Guard Against Social Awkwardness

Since the mobile phone popularity explosion at the turn of the millennium, the trusty handset has been on hand to protect its owner from social awkwardness as and when required. When waiting to rendezvous with a friend, attempting to avoid eye contact or simply not in the mood to converse with anyone in the vicinity, the mobile phone is the ideal place to turn to in order to seek refuge. Reading text messages, sending needless text messages, even pretending to read and send text messages are effective means of staying squarely out of the spotlight.

A Tool to Guard Against Social Awkwardness

2- An Escape Route from Awkward/Tedious Conversation

When unwittingly embroiled in a conversation likely to induce blushes or abject tedium, the mobile phone offers an exemplary escape route. A small amount of acting (“excuse me a second” whilst reaching for your bag or pocket) and you’re free courtesy of a phantom phone call. This timeless classic is likely to be utilised for as long as mobile phones continue to exist.

An Escape Route from Awkward/Tedious Conversation

3- An Emergency Light Source

Despite the age old warnings about the importance of preparedness and contingency planning, it is only a tiny minority of people who carry a torch on their person at all times. This failure to adequately equip ourselves for power failures or droppages in the dark would be a considerably more damning trait were it not for the trusty mobile phone. Giving off just enough light to provide a vague idea of surroundings, even the most basic of phones are able to pave the way to the fuse box or misplaced keys when called upon.

An Emergency Light Source

4- A Source of Audio Entertainment/Irritation

In the present day, many of us are lucky enough to own a mobile phone advanced enough to play mp3 audio files through earphones. If you cast your mind back however, you will recall that the use of mobile phones for audio entertainment isn’t in fact a new phenomenon. From the misguided youth blaring a low fidelity audio track from his phone’s tinny internal speaker on the bus to the enraptured first time mobile phone owner scrolling with glee through their monotonous yet ear piercing ringtones...mobile phones have enthralled and enraged on an audible plane for more than a decade.

A Source of Audio Entertainment/Irritation

5- An Outlet for Anger

If you occasionally find yourself watching the television then there is a good chance that you have witnessed our 5th and final alternative use for a mobile phone exercised in a suitably melodramatic fashion. When used as an outlet for anger the mobile phone is generally thrown, struck, used in place of a mallet or any combination of the three - it is often the last act the unfortunate handset performs. Despite the devastating impact of this alternative use, it can often help to relax the phone owner...until they realise that on top of whatever initiated their wrath, they now also need to buy a new phone.

An Outlet for Anger